Trials, Solace and Academia

Bin a While

2009-11-20T15:11:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since I posted. Our internet was cut off because Alex procrastinated about sorting it. A long story and argument short, it's back in with only a few complications.

I joined newcastle LGBT society and the clay pigeon shooting society, the people on LGB are really nice and I think the men's rep has got the hots for me, but I can't tell.

Went out on the lad's night with the lgb boys. Durham was there too and I ended up with a guy called kieran who was really nice, big eyes, cute face. Brought him back to mine and we fooled around. But I got fucking blue balls! at least he got off.

In the morning Rach called for me and I let her in. She looked into my room and her jaw dropped then she got herself together and said hi. He made a good impression on her and we walked him to the Jesmond metro and said goodbye. I texted him later to see if he made it back alright and he did, but no reply after i told him I had a good time. Have a feeling I'll bump into him again and it'll be awkward :/

We're doing a secret santa between us maths geeks, just 11 of us. I got the pretty girly girl, Holly so I got her a hangover cure kit complete with eyemask and headache balm. I went doubly over the limit (of £5) but Rach said I should so she wouldn't feel bad if she spent a bit extra. But since I spent so much I made my own wrapping paper using photoshop.

I'm also a really bad friend as I bought a ticket to manchester with LGB peeps for a weekend when I said I'd go to a friend's birthday party, camping in the lake district. Gonna try to fob her off, telling her that I can't go as I'm going home and then to machester (to cover for any facebook photos which show up) for some family event.

Had my birthday last weekend. I celebrated the week before at Eric Prydz in Digital (nightclub). Grace came up to see me and come out. Took methadone, crazy crazy times. Grace didn't want any, so I still have hers in my wallet, I feel really paranoid around police now.

Not enjoying not being a teenager though I'm consoling myself saying I'm only twenteen.

Anyway... toodles

Disappointing

2009-09-25T03:33:00.000-07:00

Had a date last night... Yeah exactly. Met the guy on grindr and he asked for a date ages ago and i agreed because i was trying to get over T at the time. He was really nice, Gareth from newcastle. Met him in revolution and I got there early and saw my friend Jack there with his girlfriend. So I talked to them and admitted what I was there for. When Gareth turned up, we pretended not to know each other but I would shoot some looks over and they would shoot some back. It made me feel safer, although I didn't need to feel that safe as Gareth was a real queen. Spends all of his money before he earns it etc.

I came clean about only wanting to be friends and he seemed kinda upset. Told him he was being naive, I think he took it ok.

not doing any grindr dates again.

Keepin' it real

Sam x

No Internet!

2009-09-20T03:55:00.000-07:00

I moved into the flat on thursday. There are teething problems though. Like the heating and hot water not being hot, but the landloard is sorting that. Oh and NO INTERNET! but the neighbours were kind enough to "lend" theirs. However I figure virgin wouldn't have disconnected the last people, so I plugged in te modem and router and fiddled with some settings and IT WORKS! I had a frankenstein moment of it's alive but thankfully it didn't last long
George and Alex move in on monday. Got to put alex's speakers back, i borrowed them for my amp because my logitech 5.1's have blown a fuse.
Anyway I've seen a bunch of my maths friends and we watched the derren brown thing. I didn't get stuck but my vision did go grey but it was prob just one of those optical illusion's effects like this:
they turquoise disappears if you stare at the dot.

Gonna have a go at making bolognese sauce soon. Wish me luck

xxx

Fuck You

2009-09-14T13:31:00.000-07:00

I asked T why he said "let's keep this between us" gave me some mumbo jumbo about not wanting us to get reputations and how nothing was gonna come of it also that i shouldn't tell laura cos she'd boot off. By this time I'd convinced myself I wanted him *stupid*. Went to a student night on thursday called cannonball and did my predrinks at laura's. We met T there and I didn't even want to make eye contact cos it felt awkward. Laura got pretty drunk and talked about me and T and i was like "he told you?!" she said "yeah he's my best friend".

That's fine that he's her bff but he told me not to tell her hardly fair. She said that he was

protecting me, more like protecting himself. Anyway I'm over him now more because he turned me against him. He's gone back to uni now so I don't have to worry about bumping into him now :D

Went to my last Saturgay, didn't pull for the first time haha was too busy fixating on someone elses BF. Think Mitch Hewer but smaller and cuter

Mitchell Scott Hewer

The problem was he was round the arms of Richard a guy from my old school who still can't believe I'm gay. It shocked me to see them together because richard's not a looker like this guy. His nickname was Neville, as in Neville Longbottom from Harry Potter. The world is strange.

There was a guy who I was interested in, tall ginger and cute but he was trying it on with everyone. He kissed 3 boys so suddenly I wasn't so interested, he ended up leaving with some really short boy I thought it was quite funny cos if he hadn't been going around everyone who took a second look he could have had some pretty good stuff.

It's my last week at home! I'm getting my hair cut tomorrow and thinking about packing haha. So excited to go back to Uni. Had a load of texts saying people are back and looking for things to do bit jealous but my time will come... SOON!

Pulled

2009-09-06T12:31:00.000-07:00

Last night was really good! One of the best nights of the year so far... Me and the rents were invited to a beef rendang night at the stark's house, they invited so many people! Put on a big asian meal just out of nowhere.

rendang

Laura's friend T (not gonna use his real name) was over and I said i was going to Cornerhouse (Saturgay) tonight and he came along. He's one of the nicest people I know, he's also gay. We met up with my friends in The Oak and I saw Danielle there (junior coach at the rowing club). We went to Chouse danced a bit and got some drinks, T went off to find his friend at Empire but then came back. By that time my drinks had caught up with me and i wasn't feeling so good.

T took me home and i said he could stay at mine as its a bit of a trek to his from mine. I let him in and we were barely inside the door when he plants a kiss on me, which is a complete surprise to me. But not an unwelcome one, we then ahem roll around on my bed in various states of dress and have some fun ;) i also remember him biting me, sexy lol.

He then left at 4:50am. But he texted me later saying apologies for last night saying he was really really drunk and to keep it between us (obv). I had the time of my life :(

He's fucking hot and smart which doesn't come around that often and he's also pretty much the same age as me, which is all of the things I look for. I can't decide if I want to persue a relationship with him or not and if I do, how do I approach him about it? and what if he doesn't want one? :s

i did see Matt again but since i was with T, didn't really look twice.

I was also up at 7:20 to go cox but later at the juniors I was deemed too drunk to single after I had just steered a Four for 12 fucking kilometers.

On The Pull

2009-09-05T08:46:00.000-07:00

Going out tonight to saturgay again. See if i can't work my magic again ;)

Been going on Grindr with my iPod touch but all i get is requests for sex or pictures of cocks :| One guy was trying to convince me to be his slave but i was being way too diplomatic in my responses so in the end i had to be really blunt and i felt really bad :(

Although i did meet a nice guy who is in Newcastle and he went to my old school! Strange things happen on the internet.

Anyway, wish me luck!

Matt

2009-08-31T13:53:00.000-07:00

nothing happened between me and matt :( he found me on fb on monday or something. I sent him a message saying if he was going to saturgay again that i would see him there, he replied non-commitally and later his status said he was going to a house party. I didn't bother going in the end as i haven't been sleeping well lately.

Went to Northallerton today

View Larger Map

Mum wanted stuff from lakeland so i tagged along. It's a nice place but most stuff was closed cos it was a bank holiday. I got a knife from lakeland for the flat, I've been old to get one good knife and keep it sharp, so I'm looking for a sharpener. I also skipped breakfast to go out too so i was starving by the time we were leaving, popped into M&S for some bakery snacks, got some italian bread with cheese and onions on (yum yum). The guy on the counter looked about 16/17 and had brilliant blue eyes so i turned on the charm (stood there looking like a mong) and paid for my bread. As I walked out i wished I'd given him my number :( He seemed interested in hindsight. Although i didn't look my best with my bed head and unshaven face.

When I got back, I decided to shave and do a bit of trimming here and there ;) but i trimmed too much on my treasure trail and now it ends prematurely lol i suck.

Anyway, rowing early again tomorrow and coxing in the evening so i wanna go to bed and get a cheeky wank in too

Hugs and kisses

satur-gay

2009-08-23T09:29:00.000-07:00

went to gay night at cornerhouse in middlesbrough last night with my lesbian mates. My besty ran back off home cos she had a fight with her gf because the gf had sent texts to some friend saying she didn't like me. Then i got texts all night long from my besty telling me to come get her from her door which i didn't know how to get to, and the boro is a dangerous place to start walking a long way to get someone.

It was well weird, there were transvestites dancing around and i went in the girl's bathroom cos its a gay night and it doesn't matter but i was still really uncomfortable lol.

Met a super nice guy who was dancing with an open shirt (yum) his name was matt b, got his number and its deffo his cos i gave him mine and he rang me to give me his. He said he was gonna call me today and add me on facebook but none of that happened lol, sent him a text to see if he wants to get together for something (not sex). He was proper drunk but still a good kisser and very touchy feely. Made me so horny.

Hope he replies but i'm not holding out for it.

Saw a "friend" from school there and he kept asking me if i was gay and I kept saying yes and he didn't believe me... prob still doesn't even though he saw me ~~sucking off~~ kissing matt's face. Gina (lez) said its prolly cos he fancies me, he's the last person I'd turn to bleurgh. He was such a dick in school, meh its not worth the rant

peace xxx

Ahhh New Flat!

2009-08-19T08:59:00.000-07:00

Picked up the keys for our flat next year in jesmond :D as I promised here's some photos.

Alex's room... bit small lol XD

My Room

My room from the window wall. Double bed for you know what... Sleeping of course!

George's room, thats alex. Slurp

George's room from the door

Our Landlord is really nice too.

need some desks from IKEA though hehe.

Can't wait until Uni starts again :D

not much

2009-08-17T00:16:00.000-07:00

not much has happened recently. Going to pick up the keys for my flat on tuesday with alex i think, met him on friday night and we were talking. I'm suddenly really into cooking and proper meals but alex i think is happy with microwavable ready meals :/

We were going to have a "scratch regatta" on sat, but the wether wasn't great so it's been defferred. A scratch regatta is a competition with lots of fun games like egg and spoon races in boats then at the end if you haven't been pushed in the river already you jump in.

The bursary for this RYA level 2 powerboating course is looking good, got an email saying that "ken will have to write him a cheque" so i guess thats in the bag now :D

I let grace use my macbook to order her macbook pro (jealous) from the further education store using the newcastle uni proxy. She got like £200 off the price of the 15" basic.

that's about it i guess its been so slow.

Cutey Alert

2009-08-13T12:33:00.000-07:00

mega cute guy doing a mock advert for a claim company

He's a local boy too ^_^

you knew you were going to come out! Or don't you want to come out?

2009-08-12T14:41:00.000-07:00

packed my stuff and came back home as my room is now inhabitable. Haven't slept in it since easter ^_^ . Gonna miss staying with my "step parents" though lol and walking cassie :D.

Had a bit of an argument with my dad today cos he just dropped a bomb when he said "Ok you're coming back tonight then" not a questiopn, more of an order, then saying that my "steps" wanted me out tonight anyway (not true). He took the tone that i knew I'd be leaving, while that's true, i didn't know exactly when then to be told it was so soon made me angry because of the lack of communication on his part.

Funny part was that instead of using the word leaving, he used the phrase "come out". So he got a loud reply of "of course i knew i was going to come out but you never told me when". Never thought I'd say those words to my dad.

joined gaydar today... no you can't have my username lol. There's no one below 27! :\

I'm so good with cox

2009-08-11T13:18:00.000-07:00

Coxed the ladies eight. They loved me, even though when i stopped i made a quip about them putting on makeup haha didn't go down well.

My skills were noticed by another crew who asked me to cox on sunday morning at 8am and then the ladies want me back. lol it feels nice to be wanted. Shame its a bunch of old women haha

The best laid plans of mice and men

2009-08-11T07:54:00.000-07:00

the post title is a book and the moral is; even the bestest plans, however solid they may be can all fall apart... which is what happened today it feels. I was all set to go to newcastle today with alex and get our keys. But I had naively said i would cox the womens eight tonight at 6, part of my do all i can for my club so i can get a bursary for an RYA level 2 power boat course for camp america, and so that people don't complain that i do nothing and get £165 of club money that would be better off rotting.

Not only that, but the estate agent had got our landlord's bank details wrong so the standing order for our rent didn't go through. The estate agents want us to fill new forms out but haven't sent them and the landlord needs paying so i need to get his address and send him a cheque (check for you yanks out there xx) It all would have been sorted if we'd gone to newcastle! So right now i feel frazzled.

Good news is, the banners i've been mentioning have been printed, they look amazing and i'm well pleased. here's a small version of it, it stands 5ft high though. All the juniors will be well happy with it... or else.

For all you non rowers out there, the cox is the person who sits in the boat and steers it and shouts orders.

keep coming

2009-08-10T14:45:00.000-07:00

I've finally caught up with my blog posts so they won't be lagging a day behind. And now you've seen what a week in my shoes is like, you may be horrified, you may be impressed, somewhere in between but really i hope i've intrigued you enough to keep coming back and hearing of my strife.

earlier on today I finished up this banner I've been making for the rowing club to be used at this take to the tees event. There are so many hoops to jump through, most of them political, like how i'm not a junior anymore and the junior's should get to design their own banner. But after saying well fine you can be involved and make decisions and help, they suddenly have no interest, Pissed me right off. Also all of the caution i was told to use over taking pictures of them for this banner then they all beg me to put the photos on facebook.

Almost had an argument with my mum this evening too. We're going to the toon (newcastle) tomorrow to pick up the keys for my flat next year (expect photos). And she wants meticulous directions, molecule by molecule of fucking asphault from our drive to the flat. I know newcastle well enough to wing it and get us to where we need to be, but she insists we have printed directions as well as satnav and me confirming with explicitly clear instructions. I told her we're gonna fall out tomorrow if she's like that, then she goes off about how she's doing me a favour and doesn't like cities or driving.

I'm in jesmond which is where everyone goes from newcastle Uni and all the people at northumbria go to Heaton... Apparently. Alex (my bff) is coming along too for his key and George the other tenant is at work tomorrow so he's gonna collect later some time.

I'm actually getting worried about living out next year, my friends all should know i'm gay by now, but i'm living with two straight guys and I don't know how they'll react if i bring a guy back or have a boyfriend. They'll say they're cool with it to be polite alex is like that, he doubled back when i told him i was gay and it took me so long to say it, but whether they're telling the truth or not...

When i met alex (16 yo in set 1 science) he told me being gay was wrong but i totally had the hots for him, not now though we're like brothers, we argue all the time haha.

Argh! and then there's the whole "can i walk around in my underwear?" issue. Or what to do if they do. Both are pretty fit and how would they react to me staring? should i stare?

august 9th

2009-08-10T02:20:00.001-07:00

Last night was amazing! Drank at heather’s first, but no one wanted to play drinking games so wasn’t drinking too much, Grace came too which was good. Her mum and dad were out with mine at a bbq and came back around 10ish, with my mum and dad because they’d left their keys. Was really awkward my dad was talking to all these 18 year olds about stuff, I tried to stay away. Gave them my key to the house and we left for the train to the boro (Middlesbrough). When we got there I split off to see Samantha, friend from college who is also gay (coincidence, but I did fancy her back then). Gave her one of my pills from pride cos she’s been begging for it. Then went and joined the queue for empire. Holly was in the queue just in front, so I cut and stood and talked to her and her friend Emma. When we got in, they got two double vodkas and shots of sambuka, I had a jaeger bomb. Found Grace and the gang, went upstairs to dance. Took my first pill when Venus by Bananarama was on, I don’t like it there so we went up to kaboom (room in empire) which was worse. Grace got her face painted with tom and I decided to go find Holly or something, the pill was kicking in. I remember seeing loads of people I knew and getting my groove on, its been a while since I’ve been to an indie club, loads of hot boys there. Ended up having three quarters of my last pill in quarters and gave the last one to Tom and Grace had a bit. Needed some fresh air towards the end so went out and saw I guy I’d talked to earlier called dan and he looked like he was on the verge of passing out, so I stuck with him to find out if he was getting back with his friends. Some guy from his college called mikey (real sweet) helped me get some words out of dan and we got his phone and called his friends as the club emptied. They came over and were gonna make sure he got home safe. Good deed done for today. Got a taxi back with Grace and Tom, it was 4:20 when I opened the door but I couldn’t sleep because of the pills so I grabbed my MacBook and sat on the grass and facebooked. Started talking to an old friend from america, told her about my night, about what I’ve done since seeing her last, told her I’m gay. She’s really nice, we talked about how I became an atheist (she is christian coming from america and all, I met her through church) and about Uni. I had a spliff on the lawn but it kept going out cos I was engrossed with our convo.

I’m also helping to make a banner for the rowing club and we need some pics of the juniors I asked for help from Ian who was now online at 7am and he told me he was going rowing soon so I decided to join him and bike down to the club. I Packed my bag and had a slice of melon for breakfast. Borrowed heather’s bike, it wasn’t pink and met Ian on the way. Got on the river and rowed up to teal, its about 4 km on the way back my pills finally wore off and I struggled to get back. Juniors started at 10 am I was back in time. Sat on the launch and got the pictures I needed with Ian. Off the water Steve the junior coach asked if I wanted to get a single out and join them for old times sakes, told him I was dead and biked back with Ian.

Back at heather’s I was literally a zombie didn’t finish my beans on toast for lunch then slept from 12 til 5, then I got a shower. The rest of the evening I just tried to stay awake so I didn’t end up waking up at 2 and throwing my sleep pattern.

august 8th

2009-08-10T01:33:00.001-07:00

Wanted to go rowing today but the river was closed from 9:30 for some swimming race, swimming in the Tees yuck! There were some people going out at 7:30 so I got up early and checked the bus schedule on t’internet, said there was a bus at 6:50 that could get me to the club on time. Got to the bus stop and the timetable said there wouldn’t be a bus until 8:12.
Heather and her family went out for a picnic since it was such a nice day but I had to go do even more painting!
Going to empire tonight, heather is going too so I’m gonna do predrinks at hers, with her friends, might be awkward.

august 7th

2009-08-10T01:32:00.000-07:00

Helped out again at the house, bit of painting and such. Didn’t bother going out, will probably do empire tomorrow.

august 6th

2009-08-10T01:31:00.000-07:00

Helped out at the house today, mum had her cast taken off her arm and I met her secretary, she was nice. Was very boring but time flew by. Not sure if I want to go out tomorrow night, not that many people around.

august 5th

2009-08-07T02:22:00.000-07:00

Rowing was good today, got to single and the conditions weren’t bad. Elliot moaned that I got to single and he didn’t haha. Afterwards I saw joe in the changing rooms and I saw his boxer briefs, purple with yellow bands yum yum.

Helped out at the house and while I was stretching my mum saw my tattoo, bad times. I just didn’t want to talk about it but said I liked it and I went to a good place. She seemed quiet afterwards which meant she was upset, I don’t like it when she is upset.

No rowing on tomorrow as john is having an RFD (rowing free day).

my tatto:

august 4th

2009-08-07T02:19:00.000-07:00

Phone told me it was Saf’s (uni) birthday today, so I sent her a text saying happy birthday, facebook later told me it’s on the 8th, woops. Went with john green to coach the over 50’s at rowing, was expecting rachel and the vas (becca) to be there but the entire junior squad was! They did their own thing and I helped in the learn to row boat, I really don’t like those boats but they are good with beginners. When we went in, john said me and (hott) Scott should double but the juniors came in all at once so there was no room on the pontoon.

We had a “meeting” to discuss where the over 50’s group was heading was kinda boring but its necessary to move on and make progress. On the way home I asked john about getting a motorboat qualification for my application to camp america. Edward James also had a lift back because his dad had left him there, don’t blame him. He interrupted me to ask what camp america was then when I explained he interrupted again to say he’d also been on a camp ptl or something, I don’t care. His story was a dead end, john humoured it, I just rolled my eyes… I digress. John said I have to contact Steve Vaslet (becca/ The Vas’ father) and I may get a bursary for the £160 course.

Helped out at the house and my mum nagged me again about going to inspect my flat for next year with the landlord for the meter readings etc. The problem is that it is during the time I want to do my life guarding course (for camp america too).

Went back to the stark’s and played mario galaxy, got really frustrated as the batteries on the wiimote ran out during a hard race with a ghost, so I swapped wiimotes and the other one was no better! Swapped batteries and won on the 7th go should’ve done it on the 2nd. Pissed me right off!

august 3rd

2009-08-07T01:59:00.000-07:00

Came back today. Got to 110 mph on the motorway, some dick head drivers out there but my dad doesn’t help.

Having the house renovated, kitchen has been fitted but problems arise everywhere. Tap should’ve gone in but didn’t, Craig the plumber was supposed to do it today but it was left in the box on the side. Had a few problems from him but he’s a nice guy, turns out he had a wisdom tooth out and it was still bleeding. Understandable.

Went back to the Stark’s where I’m staying cos I have no bedroom, saw Heather who got back from her 4 week project in borneo yesterday. Cassie (the dog) was pleased to see me. Took her on a walk after dinner with Ian (Hev's dad) and talked about drugs and stuff. He said the best way to control them is to legalise them... I agree for the softer stuff.

Showed alex the slide show of pride with iChat theatre, its really good but I don’t have any friends who want to do it (that's what she said), I used the YMCA song, comedy. He also called the top gear ending “poignant”… bullshit.

House:

august 2nd

2009-08-07T01:57:00.000-07:00

Woke up pretty late after getting in at 2-am. Said thank you to my dad for saving me. Had a lazy day where we walked along the beach at Hythe. Top gear ending of the series was crap, bet alex (best friend) loved it.

... Bollocks worst piece of TV I've ever seen and I love top gear.

August 1st

2009-08-07T01:32:00.000-07:00

Came to Folkestone with my mum and dad to stay with grandparents. I was really worried about seeing them for the first time since I called them because of my gambling problem. It was never mentioned and its water under the bridge as far as they’re concerned I guess.

Today is gay pride in brighton. I was supposed to meet some friends from uni who live there and have a day out, but they were in London at tiesto last night so I was going to go clubbing with them after the pride festival. I arrived at 10:20 on the train after setting off from folkestone at 8-ish. My journey folkestone> ashford> Hastings> brighton. Upon arriving I followed the crowds out of the train station and down towards the sea-front. I walked blindly to where the parade started. I saw Chris Geary in the flesh and all of the homosexual men and women who are part of the paramedics and police and firemen. I got a bit emotional but held it together.

The parade went by and I followed the crowd up to brighton pavilion and mooched around, then saw the parade go by a second time. The crowd then followed the parade up the road to preston park where there was loads of stalls and two main tents, the first I went to, to get out of the rain was the cabaret show, mainly transvestite acts. I stood behind a cute guy but left when the rain cleared as it wasn’t my kind of entertainment.

I mooched over to the rave tent and queued for a while to get in, in the rain. The entrance had a sign saying no ghb (poppers) but I knew there would be much worse going on. The music was good and after I got a drink I found a place to dance with some guys who were bare chested. There was one cute one and a few round guys, I made eye contact with him a few times, but he didn’t seem interested. Just interested with his poppers. I probably looked like jail bait to him. Some foreigner approached me and asked if I remembered him but I cottoned on straight away, his friend next to him said dude 1 wanted to kiss me so I ushered them on. Later I met a geordie dancing with some cute boys and he explained that he’d moved from Newcastle to Brighton and when I told him I’m at Newcastle.

6-ish I went and got some food from the Chinese stall and came back. On the way back in a guy offered me three pills for £10, I tried to haggle for two but it didn’t work so I pocketed three and moved on. The last song came and went so the tent exited. I tried to get in contact with my boys but I found out they were still at Jordan's saying they’d go to black rock but not until 1 o’clock so I needed to find them. On the way to the station the foreign guy came back and this time I remembered him, he was pushy but nice and had his arm around me explaining that he lived in London. Then he got me to hold his hand that was around my shoulders. My phone goes off so I have to check it incase its the boys but its The Vas, since his hand is free he starts to feel my up and pinch my nipple, which gets a reaction in my pants. They notice it and start speculating on my size which is just embarrassing. The road to the station forks off so I say that I’m going into town, don’t want to lead him on any further. He asks for a hug, so I give him a one arm, but he pulls me into a full hug then starts to kiss my neck moving closer to my mouth. I don’t let him get any further and say good bye.

Finding my mates turned hard because they stopped replying, so I headed to the station, my legs now killing me. There I wait for a reply while the last train is nearing, no reply at 22:28 and I leave on the train to Hastings. At Hastings there’s no connection to ashford and a bit shaken by myself being stuck I get my parents who’ve been out to dinner and have drank to pick me up. They arrive at Hastings at about 1:10 and I’m glad to be safe after waiting an hour and a bit. I’m only just beginning to realise how much my parents love me and what they’ll do. But they can still annoy me.

MEDIA!

My Diary

2009-08-07T01:29:00.000-07:00

I started a diary on August 1st, but i thought it would be better to make a blog of it. So I'm going to add my journal entries up until today.

First post!

2009-08-06T13:03:00.000-07:00

My name is Sam and this is my life . Right now, I’m 19, gay and single and just about to start my second year studying maths at Newcastle university.

Some catch up points for my readers.

I started rowing 3 years ago it's my sport and my passion.

I have 4 A levels and 1 AS level

Now for the meatier stuff:

I came out to my close friends just before christmas

January, I started betting on horses

A week after easter, I lost all the money I'd made

Then lost an extra £2600

I shamefully called my grandparents to help me out

My really good friend got me to face my parents where they helped me out and I told them I was gay

The same day, I took ecstasy

I finished off the year, sat my exams and got 69% for the year, gutted.

I will try to keep updates brief and frequent and I’ll try not to leave it a week between posts.